I Don’t Get

I don’t get the phenomenon called called Paris Hilton. Here is this skinny cock eyed white chick that acts like she’s the shit. The only reason she’s famous is because her great grandfather owned a bunch of hotel chains. She’s as dumb as a box of rocks. All that time in jail and she couldn’t remember a passage from the bible. What a fucking retard! She’s a disgrace to the human race.

I don’t get Paris Hilton fans. They annoy the hell out of me. Her fans must have really low self-esteem. Who in their right mind would worship a selfish juvenile bitch?

I don’t get butch chicks. Why would anyone want to bang a chick that dresses like a man? If I wanted a man I would go get the real thing.

I don’t get why men hit on me while I’m driving. I’m just trying to get home. I don’t want to find my soul mate in traffic.

I don’t get why people speak so loud on their cell phones. I don’t want to hear your conversation. I don’t care about your hair appointment. I don’t care if your party starts at nine or who’s going.

I don’t get why Hollywood is making live action movies out of eighties cartoons. This summer Transformers and in the winter a Chipmunk movie. Are they running out of ideas in La La land? What’s next GI Joe versus Al Qaeda?

I don’t get mayo. It’s totally disgusting. I will never eat a sandwich with mayo on it.

I don’t get Republicans. What do they stand for? I thought they cared about the soldiers. Yet they keep sending young kids off to die. They also believe in small government. Yet the national debt is at 5.7 trillion dollars.

I don’t get Democrats. They let President Bush drag us into a sectarian bloodbath, which has cost the nation 500 billion dollars and has maimed and killed hundreds of thousands of people. They where the majority in Congress and the Senate for forty years and couldn’t get a universal health care bill passed.

I don’t get closeted lesbian soccer players. Rather play straight than accept who they are.

I don’t get love. I think it’s overrated. Just kidding!