MTV!! I Want My Two Hours Back

This years VMA was in held in sin city Las Vegas and it was touted as the return of Britney Spears. The show opened with Ms. Spears sleepwalking through her performance. She was so dead she forgot to lip-sync her own fucking song. I suggest Ms. Spears take some meth and drink a red bull before her gigs. Then maybe she can give the audience a worthwhile performance. I can't believe this woman is still relevant. A word of advice to Britney once you have kids you can no longer wear skimpy clothes, especially when your flab is going all over the place. It's written somewhere in the bible between the New Testament and the Apocalypse. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes after the birth of thou offspring.

Sarcasm alert. The categories for this year's award show were ingenious. There was the Earth Shattering Collaboration which Beyonce and Shakira won. Believe me when I say I felt the earth shatter when those two juggernauts joined forces. The Monster Single went to Rhianna for her Ella Ella Eh song. There was the Triple Threat award, which went to Justin Timberlake. The man is a true talent with all his dancing, singing and acting. He's a modern day Fred Astaire. One thing that caught my attention during Justin Timberlake's acceptance speech was his admiration for the current state of music. According to him music is at a good place with artists such as Chris Brown and Nelly Furtado leading the way. Poor kid wouldn't know good music if it hit him over the head. I guess music is subjective but I don't care Justin Timberlake has no taste in music. Who am I kidding? I'd do him in a heartbeat as long as I pick the music. Next year MTV should include other categories like fuck the chorography I play an instrument, "rock bands" that aren't Fall Out Boy, I don't need a producer I make my own music, and I wear a long skirt when I perform.

I know the end is near when Chris Brown gets a standing ovation for his Broadway performance. I didn't realize I was watching the Tony's with all the lip syncing and dancing. Wait I take that back Broadway performers actually sing. Sorry, Broadway performers I didn't mean to disrespect your craft by inferring that you and Chris Brown were in the same category. I have to give props to Alicia Keyes for covering "Freedom". George Michaels kicks ass. I always loved that video especially the part where Cindy Crawford is in the bathtub. Linkin Park quit lifting the Edge's guitar parts. It was kinda cool when Coldplay used it on their Fix You song but there should be a time limit between lifting guitar parts. Oh my God I just admitted that I liked Coldplay there goes my indie cred. All kidding aside I can't speak ill of groups and individuals that play musical instruments. So thank you to all those people that played music on this show even you Fall Out Boy begrudgingly.

Till Next Time

L