Musings From The L

Yeah, I’m A Sexist. Sarah Palin Shut Up and Iron My Shirt.

2008-09-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

Before I start hating on Sarah Palin I have to start with the whole repug convention. God I hate repugs. These people are the biggest hypocrites in the world with their God and country bullshit. This party is made of fornicators and murders yet they get a pass because they have James Dobson on their side. When Britney Spears’ kid sister became pregnant these Focus on the Family fucks were up in arms. Now they’re okay with premarital sex since their VP’s daughter got pregnant. They’re always changing the signposts to hell.

Joe Lieberman is a fucking Judas. Obama campaigned for this prick and how does he repay him he disses him. I can’t believe the Democrats let this bastard caucus with them. The only reason he’s for McCain is their mutual admiration of the biggest boondoggle in U.S. history…the Iraq War. Newsflash dems get your collective heads out your ass and dump this guy from the Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee. Then there’s Rudy Giullani with his verb noun 911 spiel. I’m waiting for the day that he doesn’t mention 911. Talk about beating a dead horse. As for the delegates I’ve never seen so many old white people in my life. It was funny watching the same black and Asian delegates over and over again. It truly is the old white party.

I can’t believe I watched this inbred give her stupid speech. Man, what a sad excuse for a woman. I must admit I tuned her out half way through her speech and started mocking the delegates. This chick is a complete joke. I feel like I’m watching the female version of the film “Dave”. I will never ever vote for McCain/Palin. I will especially not vote this chick. This lady believes creationism should be taught in school. Yeah, I want my kids to be taught how Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs in a place called Eden. She’s a strong supporter of abstinence education. Look how great that turned out for her daughter. And last but not least she’s a horrible mother. Watching her youngest daughter chasing her after the speech was completely heartbreaking. Here’s this little girl trying to get her mother’s attention and her mother completely ignores. What a fucking bitch? Another thing that bothered me about this “hockey mom” was her actions during her pregnancy with her youngest son. This woman’s water broke in Texas and didn’t seek medical attention right then and there. Instead she finished the conference she was in, then got on a plane and flew back to Alaska. She risked the baby’s well being because she didn’t want her baby to be born in Texas. Now that’s some fucked up shit. Her campaign slogan should read “Politics Before Kids”.

Alright I’ve dissed Obama calling him an American Idol candidate but I’ve come to my senses and will try my hardest to have him elected. I have my qualms fisa being one but he’s a million times better than the worthless repugs. It’s time for Obama/Biden to take the gloves off. Fuck the bi partisan bullshit go for the jugular and make McCain/Palin wish they never messed with the dems.

Obama/Biden 08

L

It’s Been A Long Time

2008-07-14T08:48:00.000-07:00

Alright it's been close to two months since my last blog entry. I've had a couple of interruptions the last couple of months that'll go into later in my blogging schedule. Anyway, let's talk about the latest happenings. How about the new Iphone? People form long lines just to say they're the proud owner of a new iPod 3G. Society wasn't preoccupied enough now they can ignore their family, kids, neighbors, and friends even more. Just last month I was in a restaurant and saw something disturbing. There was a family of five having dinner and each kid had their own entertainment gadget. One kid had an iPod another kid had a Nintendo and the young kid had another Nintendo. The parents weren't talking to each other. They just ate their meal like nothing was wrong. It was sad seeing parents and kids ignoring each other like that.

Last night I was watching the Lohan show. I wanted to check out the recording session between these fucking jokes. There's nothing I hate more in life than a talentless cocky asshole and a manufactured pop princess. The funniest part of the whole show occurred when the girl said she was an artist. No honey you're not an artist. An artist actually creates something. You're just a puppet. Then there was the guy pimping himself like a cheap prostitute. Boasting about his hits on MySpace. The same MySpace that gave us such great artists like......wait I can't think of one. MySpace is a great little place but hits don't mean shit. One last thing your music sucks it sounds like every fucking r&b crap song out there. And the record companies wonder why they can't make any money. Quit promoting this crap and sign real artists.

Did you hear we're a nation of whiners? Yes, ladies and gentlemen all this recession talk is all in our heads. You're not really paying $4.15 a gallon at your local gas station. Unemployment lines are getting shorter. You can stretch your money a little more. Come on, you can take that extra job to make ends meat. There isn't a divide between the haves and the have nots. All those foreclosed homes in your neighborhood are just part of a market correction. Financial institutions aren't collapsing they're just taking a break from all this recession talk that's in our heads. If we stop whining we can make millions from lobbying. Isn't that right Senator Phi Gramm?

That felt good. I'll get off my soapbox now.

Later

L

Rant O’Rama

2008-05-06T18:20:00.000-07:00

We spend our disposable income on these spoiled athletes. It's unbelievable how much money these creeps make. You have the Pacman Jones of the world. Committing crimes. Fathering children out of wedlock. Living the high life. And when they get busted they cry give me another chance. What fucking bullshit is that? If they were in any other occupation they would be out of work and living under a bridge. Instead they're given opportunity after opportunity. I can't believe people live vicariously through these professional jocks. It's beyond disgusting.

Next is the all-powerful youth vote. Election year after election year we hear about the all-important youth vote. I'm still waiting for them to make any real contribution to politics. There was Mtv's Rock the Vote. There was P. Diddy's Vote or Die. These campaigns had one thing in common. They failed miserably. The youth didn't show up. But this year is going to be different. This is our time is what they say. Yeah, I'm going to put the future of the U.S. in the hands of a bunch of self-important whiny kids. I'm sorry but I don't respect a generation that worships at the feet of Britney Spears. In November stay home and watch the fucking Hills.

On to the crap that is college. If you're going to start college don't do it. It's a sham and a complete waste of time. I did the whole college thing and I don't remember anything. What they taught was complete bullshit. If you want to learn I suggest you get a library card and an Internet connection. Then search the different university websites and their course syllabi. You can major in any field you want without spending the thirty grand a year. There are two good things about college. The chicks and you get a piece of paper that gets your foot in the door of corporate whorehouses.

Lately the dykes on teevee have been annoying me. You have the workout chick and Tila Chiquita. The workout chick is the funniest. She thinks she's the hot shit. Newsflash homegirl you're not that hot. I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole. Something caught my eye while watching last episode. There was one woman that looked like the stereotypical dyke. She was overweight, had a mullet, and didn't wear a bra. She was scary. Man, those were some ugly women on the cruise. As for the Tila show it's a complete joke. Why even bother making the damn show. You know she's going to end up with the guy. Tila is another case of I'm so hot that both men and women want me. I just don't see her hotness. She's just another run of the mill pinup. Oh well enough ranting for one day.

Later

L

But I’m Really 27

2008-04-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

Where do I begin? It sucks that people don’t believe I’m twenty-seven. I have a hard time buying a lotto ticket. Most cashiers ask for an ID when purchasing the ticket. When I went to Vegas security was constantly on my case. Every five minutes a new person would ask for my driver’s license. Don’t get me started on buying a drink at the club or at the store. If I don’t have my ID I’m screwed. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t even bother drinking cause it’s such a pain in the ass. Bartenders have a hard time believing my age. Last year in Coachella I went to the drinking tent to get a wristband and the guy spent a good ten minutes inspecting my ID. He thought it was fake. It’s beyond frustrating.

Last weekend I headed to Central Florida to help my sister with her farm. After some manual labor I went to the gas station to get some water. I got the stuff that I needed and went to pay. Then the weirdest thing happened. A high schooler hit on me. He thought I attened the local high school. He was like are you ready to go back to school on Monday. I tried to explain that I finished high school and I was much older and not interested. But he didn’t buy it. He was like gimme a break you can’t even play the lotto and kept hitting on me. I wanted to die. I gathered my stuff and left as quickly as possible. I told the story to my girlfriend and she couldn’t stop laughing. Now every time we pass a high school she says maybe you’ll find your prince charming in there.

Later

From An Obama Believer To An Obama Skeptic

2008-04-28T10:06:00.000-07:00

This presidential race started off as exciting, but with the passage of time I’ve become jaded and cynical. I’ve followed the race since the Youtube/CNN debate. I had no horse in the race. I was willing to vote for whichever candidate won the primaries. I was tired of the Bush Clinton Bush succession. I wasn’t looking forward to voting for another Clinton not because I didn’t like her. I was just tired of the same politicians ruling the U.S. I was sure that Hillary Clinton would get the nomination because she was a veteran and had name recognition. Boy was I wrong. Out of nowhere came Barack Obama. The last presidential race I held my nose and voted for Kerry. This time around I actually liked the candidate and his policies. I did have some apprehension towards him. I feared the Republican attack machine would tear him apart and paint him as another McGovern. But after watching the Iowa speech my worries were laid to rest. He was smart, articulate and young. He had potential. He could be our JFK. Change was coming and it was going to be an exciting ride.

Then something happened the media started falling over themselves for Obama. And just started nailing Billary. Telling her to quit cause she’d lose in New Hampshire. The race had just begun and the media was telling the viewers/readers the Clinton campaign was dead in the water. This gave me pause. When the media falls for someone they don’t vet that person. It was very reminiscent of Fox News and their love affair with Bush Jr. In the Fox World Bush Jr. could do no wrong? I didn’t want a rehash. After the blatant bias I started getting weary. But I still maintained my support for Obama. It wasn’t his fault the news outlet weren’t vetting him.

What sealed the deal for me was South Carolina. After the infamous Jesse Jackson comment the shit hit the fan. The Clintons were now labeled racists. I don’t know the couple personally but I’m sure they are not racists. The most troubling thing from this scandal is that it came from an internal memo from the Obama campaign. Highlighting the Jesse Jackson, Bill’s fairy tale and the Lyndon Johnson comment as racist. I knew race would be used its part of the game. It’s a sad commentary in our society. From the white hands ad in North Carolina to the most recent Call Me Harold ad in Tennessee. But I would have never expected it would come from a Democrat. I thought Barack transcended race and politics. I came to the sad realization he was just another politician trying to feed his ego just like Hillary and McCain.

The thing that’s been bothering me is the forums I once frequented. Before the presidential primaries I agreed with my fellow Democrats. Now there is a divide between the groups. The Clinton supporters hate the Obama supporters and vice versa. I’m tired of the hearing Obama supporters are so much smarter than the Clinton supporters. I’m sick of reading the Clintons are liars and power hungry. News flash they’re both politicians that’s what they do. McCain does it Obama does it. They all lie and cheat that’s how they got to the top. You know you’re in trouble when Democrats use Monica Lewinsky and Vince Foster as reasons not to trust the Clintons. Two years ago Bill Clinton was viewed as one of the best Democratic presidents. Now he’s a womanizing racist. Talk about throwing someone under the bus for the new kid on the block. The funny thing about these primaries is that both Obama and Clinton have the same policies. Yet their supporters are ready to destroy the party for two individuals that will do very little to improve their lives. Oh well my prediction of Democrats taking the presidency was wrong. I guess I’ll have lots of writing material with President 100 years in Iraq.

Idealism Kills

I Just Wanna Dance

2008-04-21T21:31:00.000-07:00

Who would’ve thought dancing would become so popular that dancers would get their own teevee shows and movies. You have Dancing With the Stars, Step It Up and Dance, the MTV dance show, and the movie about getting served…whatever the fuck that means. The only show I sometimes watch is Dancing With the Stars, not because I want to, but because it’s the show my girlfriend loves to watch. So I’m put through three hours of torture for the sake of love. I know I’m the best girlfriend in the world. Anyway, I’ve come to appreciate the waltz and the tango because of Dancing With the Stars. I so want to learn the waltz but I have a little problem…I have two left feet.

On to Step It Up and Dance. I’ve only seen one episode and it was by chance. One of the chicks caught my eye. The blonde chick named Jessica. What can say I love me some white chicks. Unfortunately, she was eliminated on that same episode. Poor girl couldn’t dance like a hip-hop star. Now that she’s gone I have no reason to tune in. As for the dancing one crew had the gayest routine I’ve ever seen. It was made up three guys and one of the guys pulls an imaginary chain on the two other guys. It has to been seen to really grasp how gay it was.

Next is the MTV dance show hosted by Slater. What was the rating for this show? You have all these crews vying for some sort of prize, which I have no clue what it was. Watching snippets of the show I kept asking myself what would become of these crews. It’s not like they’ll get a contract with a studio because they’re good dancers. They’re not going to be backup dancers for Usher since he already has his people. I don’t know what the great payoff is for these crews. I guess if it makes them happy then all the power to them. Even if this type of niche entertainment will cease to exist in a couple of years.

One last thing regarding these shows it has to do with the battle scene or contest. All these shows like Step It Up and Dance and the movie about getting served have a battle scene or contest. It’s plain ole silly when they battle. It’s like watching West Side Story. The dancers make these tough faces like they’re going to tear your head off. But instead of scraping they just gyrate their pelvis. It’s too fucking funny. Why don’t they fight like the good ole days?

Later

2008-02-21T11:57:00.000-08:00

I’d Like To Dedicate This Song To

I’d like to dedicate The Smiths’ “Panic” to all the mindless Clear Channel DJs. Hang the blessed D.J. Because the music that they constantly play. It says nothing to me about my life.

I’d like to dedicate Mano Negra’s “Mala Vida” to my ex. Tu esta dando mala vida.Cada dia se traga mi Corazon.

I’d like to dedicate Beck’s “Loser” to all the professional sports teams in South Florida. Soy un perdedor. I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

I’d like to dedicate Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus” to all the Obama sheep. Your own personal Jesus. Someone to hear your prayers.

I’d like to dedicate the Dead Kennedys’ “Kill Kill the Poor” to all the Republican scum. At last we have more room to play. All systems go to kill the poor tonight. Sorry all the videos for this song are low quality and not worth embedding.

Later

L

Politicians and Celebrities

2008-02-11T14:00:00.000-08:00

There are two things I despise the most in this world are celebrities whom endorse politicians and the other is idealist. Lets start with celebrities endorsing politicians. On the Friday Larry King had the guy from the Black Eye Peas, John Legend, and the chick from Ugly Betty on discussing their presidential favorites. The Black Eye Pea guy and John Legend supported Barack and the Ugly Betty chick supported Hilary. There is a reason why these people are entertaining the masses and not ruling them. The Black Eye Pea was a total joke. He didn’t give a policy reason for voting for his candidate. All he could muster was that his candidate was for change. Gee thanks Mr. Black Eye Pea I was on the fence regarding Barack but now that you gave a well thought out response I’m definitely voting for your candidate. I have one plea for the future politicians of the world before you accept an endorsement from a celebrity make sure they know your policies and not your empty rhetoric. As for celebrities please shut the fuck up and entertain me and stay away from politics.

On to the idealists poor saps think they can change the world through ideas. You know there was a time when these people with grand ideas were going to change world. It was in the sixties and it was the hippie revolution. These young people were going to transform the United States. They were going to bring peace and love to the masses. All they needed was a six string and LSD. People would come together for the greater good and a utopian society would be created. Unfortunately, they fell flat on their face and became yuppies. I do have to give them credit they did get civil rights laws passed and gave women a greater standing in society. But they also became power hungry individuals. So much for ideas and change.

Here are some lyrics I’m working on. I only have one verse. I’m having a hard time with the chorus. It’s one of those songs that take forever to write. It’s based on conflicting worldviews between couples.

I’m a realist she’s an idealist
She likes Rousseau I prefer Machiavelli
She sees the good of all man
I see man as corrupted
She sees the world in shades of gray
I see the world in black and white
We always fight over whose right
But when she lays beside me
Ideologies
Get swept under the bed

Later

L

Random Thoughts

2008-02-04T12:39:00.000-08:00

One day till Super Tuesday and the Hilary and Barack are in a dead heat. It’s seems we won’t know who the nominee will be until later in the calendar year. As for the Repugs it’s going to be John (Lets stay in Iraq for a hundred years) McCain. It’s amazing that independents are voting in droves for this old man.

I’m so stoked that Lost is back in the air. I love the flash forwards more so than the flashbacks. It feels like we’re getting somewhere with the flash-forwards. Poor Hurley can’t catch a break. Will he ever be happy outside the island? The split between Jack and Locke finally occurred and from the foreshadowing it looks like something horrible happened between the two groups. It’s going to be an exciting season on Lost.

Last night the Patriots got their cocky asses handed to them. Bill Bilacheat is a fucking sore loser. Walking off the field with time still on the clock was a total diss to his players. Tom Brady was rattled the whole game by the front four of the Giants and his blockers missed a couple of blitzes, which led to a poor offensive performance by the Patriots. Oh well look at the bright side Bostonians you still have the Red Sox and my Dolphins remain the only undefeated team in NFL history.

It was cool seeing Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers perform on the half time show. I love Tom’s voice and his clever odes to the ganja. Keep rocking you kick ass. Why was Paula Abdul allowed to perform on the pre show? I’m so getting dyke vibes from Alicia Keys. She just screams closet case.

Britney Spears is an in mental ward and lets hope she stays there for a very long time. I think this chick is really an attention whore and not a bipolar nut job. This chick craves having cameras constantly on her and doesn’t care how stupid she looks doing her little stunts. And what’s up with all the police cars escorting her to the psych ward? I wonder if the City of Los Angeles would do the same thing for a regular crazy person. Hopefully, she’ll drive herself off a cliff with her manager and her paparazzi boyfriend along for the ride. I’m only kidding I do not wish ill on anyone.

And The Next American Idol Winner Is......Barack Obama

2008-01-27T09:07:00.002-08:00

Barack Obama is the perfect candidate for the typical American Idol viewer. These viewers vote on appearance and voice. They ignore the fact that to become a true musical force one has to understand the dynamics of musical theory and music composition. If you solely base your opinion on appearance and voice you end up with the likes of Clay Aikens. This is what the Democratic Party has right now with Barack Obama. He makes these great speeches and looks good in a three thousand dollar suit, but his platform has no substance. All I hear from him is we believe in change and yes we can. What the fuck is this a church revival? Heck I believe in change, but how are you going to make change happen. Are the Republicans all of a sudden going to vote against their best interest because he believes in change? Is he going to appoint a conservative judge to the Supreme Court solely to unite the country? Is he going vote present when Iran takes over the southeastern section of Iraq?

Another thing that drives me crazy about the Gobama groovy train is the mass media's love affair with this guy. The worst culprit is Msnbc. Msnbc has a fucking hard on for Barack Obama. Joe(quit squinting)Scarborough, Chris (Tweety Bird) Matthews, Mika (I only got this job because my dad is Zbigniew) Brzezinski, and countless others are constantly swooning over Mr. Obama. Over on CNN Anderson Cooper has a huge man crush on Barack Obama. I'm absolutely disgusted with the media's handling of the Democratic primaries. Go cover the Republican campaign you worthless piece of shit.

I don't like Hilary Clinton but I might vote for her. The girl can get done and dirty. Republicans won't swiftboat her. And if they try she will tear them a new one.Yes, she is conniving and heartless but she's a politician. All politicians do whatever is needed to win an election. And if you believe a politician really wants to change the world I have a bridge I'd like to sell you. Chant and write little slogans all day Obama sheep oops voters because that's all you'll remember from the Barack Obama presidency. And one last thing when you vote for the next American Idol please vote for someone that can actually play an instrument or knows what a fucking chord progression is.

Langerado or Bust

2008-01-24T10:19:00.000-08:00

On March 08 I’ll be heading over to Big Cypress to hangout with my hippie friends. All right I don’t have any hippie friends but this festival started out as a jam band extravaganza. Now they’re including more recognizable names to the lineup. The best part of the concert is that I don’t have to travel a great distance to see cool bands. The lineup for the day I’m going is made up of some indie artists; jam bands, and the one and only REM. Other than REM I want to check out Citizen Cope, Matisyahu, Robert Randolph & the Family Band, Ghostland Observatory, and for my nineties nostalgia Arrested Development. I might even check out a jam band but I’ll leave after the ten-minute mark of a song.

Last year I headed over to Indio, California for Coachella and had a blast. This year I’m skipping out. The lineup isn’t very enticing. The headliners aren’t that great. I like Jack Johnson but I don’t think he deserved top billing for Friday. I don’t like Portishead so this booking did absolutely nothing for me. Lastly Roger Waters performing Darkside of the Moon doesn’t really appeal to me. I saw him on concert Earth and his performance wasn’t that good. He can’t sing a lick. I rather see David Gilmore’s Pink Floyd than Roger Waters take. I do like some of the sub headliners like the Verve, Sea Swell, Tegan and Sara, Rilo Kiley, the Breeders but not enough to fly to Cali. Maybe next year it will improve. I keep hoping for the Smiths reunion. Please Golden Voice give the Smiths anything they want so my lifelong musical wish can come true.

Talking about band reunions the rumored lineup for Bonnaroo will include Led Zeppelin, which would kick ass if the rumor were true. Now that’s the band Coachella should have booked. But I’ll believe it when I see it. Which will be too late and I’ll miss out. Like when the rumored Pixies reunion came to fruition and I couldn’t get tickets. I’m still kicking myself for that lost opportunity.

Later

L

Movies: Cloverfield, Once, Juno

2008-01-20T19:42:00.000-08:00

Please bare with me I haven’t written in a very long time. I’m a bit rusty on the whole blogging thing. This weekend I headed to the movie theater and saw Cloverfield. I absolutely love survival movies. Lets get to the gist of the movie the monster. The monster under whelmed me and the parasites that fell off the beastie were like the monsters in Starship Troopers. As for the actors they were somewhat believable. But I don’t who was dumber Rob or his friends. If I were in the same situation I would’ve told Rob to fuck off. I wouldn’t go back for anyone its every man for himself. As for the shaky camera it wasn’t that bad. The only thing one should consider before viewing the film is to sit far away. That camera is the best damn camera ever created. Warning: minor spoiler alert. It withstood a close encounter with the monster; it survived a chopper crash, and withstood a nuclear attack. At the end of the movie there were some audience members that were clearly disappointed with the ending. But I liked that it didn’t give you a clear answer. Not everything needs to be explained. Otherwise there would be no sequel or prequel for us to enjoy. The movie was entertaining and had its humorous part. I’d see it again in DVD just to see the easter eggs that I might of missed.

On to an independent movie called “Once”. I wasn’t familiar with this movie but I was told to check it out. What can I say after watching this movie? I’ve fallen in love once again and her name is music. This movie captures the struggles of a musician and the magic of songwriting. It’s a musical but not in the gay kind of way. The lead actor is mesmerizing you just want him to keep singing and playing. Words can’t do this movie justice. If you want to see a movie that is anti Hollywood then check out “Once”.

Another anti Hollywood movie that I loved was “Juno”. Ellen Page just plain kicks ass. She’s so believable as a pregnant teen. The script is smart and witty. The soundtrack is simple and quirky. It’s the perfect adoption movie.

The last movie I saw this weekend was “I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry”. I’m not a big fan of Adam Sandler but I enjoyed this movie. It had some really funny parts that played on the whole gay stereotypes. But it never crossed the line that one would feel offended by the antics, which I liked. It was pro gay which is always good.

Till Next Time

L

Pessimism

2007-11-06T10:24:00.000-08:00

We Americans are deeply dissatisfied with direction of our country. Don’t look now but the r word is ready to take its place on the table. Recession is on the horizon and it’s not going to be pretty. The dollar is at an all time low. The middle class is shrinking. Conflicts are springing left and right. Debt is rising but we mortgage the future for instant gratification. We consume and consume to fill an empty void. Some turn to religion others turn to flat screen teevees to make them feel better. At the end of it all is that what life is really about. Working a nine to five and a part time so we can buy nice things to fill a void. Or spend our days praying that there’s an afterlife in which there are no worries and eternal happiness presides. At least for me that’s what it feels like.

The only optimistic people in the U.S. are the younglings and a delusional twenty eight percent of the population. Don’t get me wrong I’m a glass half full kind of gal but I’m also a realist. There is nothing in the foreseeable future that will right this ship. Innovation is stagnant. Manufacturing is nonexistent. Lately it’s seems like the U.S. economy is based on bubbles. First it was the Internet bubble and now it’s the housing bubble. Is any of this money real? We’re stuck in a quagmire with no end sight. The world either hates us or ignores us. We condone torture then claim we’re the protectors of human rights.

See Ya

L

Blogs Blogs Blogs

2007-11-05T10:29:00.000-08:00

All right I admit I’m a lazy blogger. I curse way too much. There are times I butcher the English language. And sometimes I come off as cranky and angry. But this week I’ve decided to write more and curse less.

I really struck a nerve with my Left Behind entry. It seems like I have a strong following in Utah. That’s where most of the views came from. I got two comments on that little entry. I know that isn’t much for a serious blogger but for me it was a special occasion. I knew I made it as a blogger when I got my first your going to rot in hell for mocking the rapture comment. I was in stitches after reading the comment. People don’t get your panties in a wad it’s just a blog.

Random Thoughts

2007-10-29T12:32:00.000-07:00

I'm so digging Rilo Kiley. Man, Jenny Lewis is one hot chick. She can play with my Nintendo any day of the week.

The Miami Dolphins keep sucking. Sorry Brits, American football isn't this shitty. Start John Beck you wankers. I hope they go 0-16.

It looks like we'll have hundred-dollar barrel of oil soon. Thank you Bushie for your saber rattling. I'll start riding my bike now.

Who the fuck is Dumbledorff and why should I care if he's gay?

What a bunch of pandering pansies the Republicans are. In their debate all I heard was attack Iran, lower taxes, and I hate Hilary Clinton. I don't know what was worst the debate or the focus group that graded the candidates. Someone in the focus group thought the Clinton presidency was the worst eight years in US history. I couldn't stop laughing from the absurdity.

I'm having a bad case of writers block. I haven't written in the last two weeks. My chord progressions sound the same. I need a new muse or a cute guy that can play lead guitar.

Old School is one of the funniest movies ever made. Vince Vaughn is the perfect straight man and Will Farrell is so funny as Frank the Tank.

TI is a fucking retard. He's facing 10 years in prison for purchasing weapons while in parole. Here's a guy that has fame and fortune and what does he do? He fucks it up. Did he really need an arsenal of semi automatic weapons and silencers?

What's Kanye West's obsession with electronic bands. First he lifts Daft Punk's song and now he's ripping off the Justice music video. Can you say fraud?

Who's buying all these Britney records? Whoever you are you should be ashamed of yourself. I'm always amazed at the crap people buy.

Congrats to the Red Sox for winning the World Series. In January they'll be celebrating the Patriots Super Bowl win. What's in the water in Massachusetts that produces so many good teams?

If I Were Left Behind

2007-10-29T12:30:00.001-07:00

Last night I was surfing Youtube and stumbled across a movie called "Left Behind". I didn't know that there was a movie for these crazy books. I was somewhat familiar with the books because I read the cliff notes. Okay there are no cliff notes for these books, but I know someone who read them and gave me an overview on the subject matter. For those that haven't had the good fortune of reading the Left Behind series let me give you a brief review. Most people are familiar with Armageddon and the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. But for evangelicals there's the rapture where the "true believers" will be whisked to heaven and everybody else will be left behind. These books focus on the aftermath of the rapture, the Antichrist, the second chance Christians, and the lead up to Armageddon. The big evil that will do the Antichrist's bidding is the United Nations. Now that's some fiction. Come on the UN can't get a resolution on Darfur passed, but they'll unite the nations of the world under the rule of the Antichrist. Anyway those left behind will either accept Jesus or join the Antichrist. All the while there'll be insufferable agony. I don't want to spoil the ending but Jesus wins. It's a lot like Stephen King's "The Stand" just crappier.

I can't believe people actually believe in this magical rapture. It seems so childish. It's so na na a boo boo we're in heaven and your not…suckers. Anyway if this magical rapture did occur here are a few things I would do if I were left behind:

Call dibs on Regent University and the Coors Corporation. If you're one of the lucky souls that stays behind join me in a massive kegger in Virginia Beach. Don't forget to bring the debauchery.

Jump for joy no more TBN, CBN, purple haired lady, Kirk Cameron, and other nut job evangelicals. The only thing that sucks is that we'll be stuck with other religious nut jobs.

Get myself a tank. Gotta protect myself from the Antichrist.

Take a long nap. I don't want to be tired for the tribulation.

Write a song called "The End Times Make For Good Times".

Buy front row tickets for the ultimate battle between good and evil, Armageddon. Mount Megiddo or Bust.

Till Next Time My Dear Lurkers

L

Please Kill Reality TV

2007-10-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

I'm so sick of these reality shows with attention whores and F list celebrities. I ask myself when will it all end? I admit I was initially drawn to these programs. I enjoyed the first two survivors, I liked the first three seasons of the Real World, and I like Little People Big World. But it's gotten to the point that every one has a reality show. I wonder if I can get a reality show. They can film me while I'm writing my blog and all the exciting things that happen in my life. I swear I'm very entertaining.

E!, Vh1, and MTV are the main pushers of these stupid shows. Ninety percent of their programming is made up of this crap. On E! they have the Playboy chicks, the tanning Barbie dolls, and the pompous doctors of 90210. They should rename their programming to shallow nights at the E. What bothers me most about these programs is their promotion of double Ds, fake tans, and bleached blonde hair. As for the shows those Playboy chicks aren't that interesting. You really have to be an attention whore to sleep with an eighty year old man. If I had to spend an hour with these chicks I'd shoot myself. The tanning show is just disturbing. In one episode there was a mother who requested that her five-year old get a tan so she could look like Lindsay Lohan. I'm not easily outraged but when I saw that clip I wanted to fly to LA and beat the living shit out of that woman. The last program on my E hit list is doctor 90210, which is made of pompous assholes that have medical degrees in fixing tits and noses. These fuckers became doctors for the dollar not the betterment of society. And that's why I have so much disdain towards them.

Vh1 is another network that constantly runs reality shows. Their big reality stars are Flavor Flav, the black chick that is hood, Hulk Hogan, and Scott Baio. The Flavor Flav show and the spin off with the black chick is a modern day Minstrel show. Every time I glance at those two programs my IQ drops five points. The Hogan reality show is so contrived it should be scripted. Yawn, his family is bland like vanilla. Why should I care if Scott Baio is single or not? He hasn't been relevant since Charles in Charge. Why can't these former stars just go away?

MTV takes the cake for most reality shows on a single network. There is the Hills, Laguna Beach part two, Skater Boy and countless others. On the Hills every one lives in posh apartments and drive badass cars. If only real life was like the Hills. The kids on Laguna Part Two are like every teen in America white and blonde. Where is the token minority? As for the Skater Boy show what's the point? Skateboarding is so 2002. Just kidding I like skateboarding but I don't get why the life of a sixteen-year-old skater is that interesting.

Future Reality Star

L

Dyke Drama Sucks

2007-09-25T20:11:00.000-07:00

I have some good and bad news. First the bad news I broke with my girlfriend. The good news is I broke up with my girlfriend. I'm glad it's over, but I feel bad that I hurt her by just ending it instead of trying to work it out. Lately we've had some spats over my excessive flirting with the opposite sex. Those are her words not mine. In my defense I'm a friendly person. Every time I'd talk to a guy my ex would automatically think I was sleeping with him. It got to the point where I couldn't stand being with her. I think the reason she's this way is because she's insecure. I'm still perplexed on why she has insecurity issues. She's smart, pretty, and funny. She shouldn't be this fucked up.

The first time we met I thought she was straight. She had all the characteristics of a straight chick. She had long blonde hair, green eyes, painted nails, and makeup. I soon found out this chick was really into me. She made the move since I don't have any game when it comes to chicks. It was fun for the first couple of months then I became bored with the relationship. Anyway, I was torn should I prolong the relationship or just end it because this wasn't what I wanted. I chose the latter and said my last goodbye. Now I'm single and taking a break from relationships.

The funny thing is that when I take those online quizzes that test my commitment level I score high on them. I took a curvemag quiz and it said I'm marriage material. Ha those things are flawed. It scored me totally wrong or maybe it's me that's flawed. One last thing dyke drama sucks.

Later

L

Sports Rant

2007-09-17T22:21:00.000-07:00

It’s a sad time to be a sports fan in South Florida. We like winners. If your not winning then we don’t want anything to do with your team. In other words we’re fair weather fans. Lately all the professional teams have been stinking up the joint. The Miami Dolphins are 0-2, the Florida Marlins are in last place in the National league, and the Miami Heat was eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. Its time to examine what has gone wrong with these teams. Of course this is just an opinion. I in no way consider myself an expert. I just like sports.

Let’s begin with the Miami Dolphins. The Dolphins are the crown jewel of South Florida. Lately, it’s been more like the sorry ass team of South Florida. It’s been six years since their last playoff appearance and thirty-three years since their last Super Bowl ring. How can a storied franchise become a laughing stock? You can only blame one person, Wayne Hunizga. Wayne Huizinga sucks the life out of sports teams. Please Mr. Huizinga sell the team to someone that actually wants to win. You could also blame all the lousy drafts they’ve had in the last twenty years. They’ve picked Jason Allen, Ronnie Brown, Yatil Green, Randall Hill, Billy Milner, Sammie Smith and John Avery all in the first round. Do you know what most of these players are doing now? Standing in the unemployment line or in jail as in Sammie Smith’s case. They haven’t had a running game since the seventies when Larry Csonka and Mercury Morris ran over their opponents. They haven’t had a passing game since the eighties when Dan Marino was breaking all the passing records. They haven’t had a decent coach since Don Shula. What I suggest they do is spend all their draft picks and salary money on offensive lineman. They keep wasting their first and second round picks on running backs and wide receivers instead on improving the offensive line. If they put all their effort on improving the o line they would solve ninety percent of the problems they face on Sunday afternoons.

On to my beloved Florida Marlins this is my favorite team in South Florida. Yet they get no respect from the fans or the media. I know Jeffery Loria is a dick and doesn’t want to spend money on the team, but they have one of the best GM’s in the league, Larry Beinfest. Year after year the Marlins are competitive and exciting. They’ve won two World Series championships in their short history. Their 2003 championship was the best sports experience I’ve ever witnessed. Man, that was a great team with Derek Lee, Josh Beckett, Brad Penny, Dontrelle Willis, Miguel Cabrera, A.J. Burnett, Luis Castillo, Juan Pierre, and Ivan Rodriguez. If they ‘d kept that team together they would’ve won at least four championships. Instead most of the players were traded away for younger and cheaper players. And that’s the story of the Marlins they groom them until they can’t afford the player then trade them away. As for this year it’s just been bad and there hasn’t been a silver lining this season. Most of the talented pitchers on the team have been hurt and the new manager has been a disaster, which has led them to a last place finish. At least with the Marlins I feel like they’re competent people on the top and they’ll turn it around unlike the Dolphins.

Next on the list of downward spiraling franchises the Miami Heat. They are the last team in South Florida to win a championship. There is one up side and a whole lot of down side. The up side is Dwayne Wade the cornerstone of the Heat franchise. The down side on the Heat is that it an old team and when I say old I mean really really old. The Heat showed their old and tired legs when the younger and more athletic Chicago Bulls eliminated them this past season. And what do they do to get younger and more athletic they sign Penny Hardaway. What is this 1996? I know they don’t want to pay the luxury tax but they have to do better than Penny Hardaway and Smush Parker if they want to be champions again. The Eastern Conference is no longer a cakewalk. Plenty of teams improved this off-season especially the Celtics and the Magic. Pat Riley has to come up with a better plan because Shaq and Zo are getting older and their bodies will give out in any minute. There’s also the possibility that Dwayne Wade will sign with another team once his contract is up. He like Lebron James signed a three-year contract extension expecting more money after they become seven-year veterans with the option of seeking a new contract as an unrestricted free agent. It will make them eligible to negotiate a maximum contract worth 30 per cent of the salary cap. If he leaves the Heat will screwed for a very long time.

See Ya

L

MTV!! I Want My Two Hours Back

2007-09-10T10:14:00.000-07:00

This years VMA was in held in sin city Las Vegas and it was touted as the return of Britney Spears. The show opened with Ms. Spears sleepwalking through her performance. She was so dead she forgot to lip-sync her own fucking song. I suggest Ms. Spears take some meth and drink a red bull before her gigs. Then maybe she can give the audience a worthwhile performance. I can't believe this woman is still relevant. A word of advice to Britney once you have kids you can no longer wear skimpy clothes, especially when your flab is going all over the place. It's written somewhere in the bible between the New Testament and the Apocalypse. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes after the birth of thou offspring.

Sarcasm alert. The categories for this year's award show were ingenious. There was the Earth Shattering Collaboration which Beyonce and Shakira won. Believe me when I say I felt the earth shatter when those two juggernauts joined forces. The Monster Single went to Rhianna for her Ella Ella Eh song. There was the Triple Threat award, which went to Justin Timberlake. The man is a true talent with all his dancing, singing and acting. He's a modern day Fred Astaire. One thing that caught my attention during Justin Timberlake's acceptance speech was his admiration for the current state of music. According to him music is at a good place with artists such as Chris Brown and Nelly Furtado leading the way. Poor kid wouldn't know good music if it hit him over the head. I guess music is subjective but I don't care Justin Timberlake has no taste in music. Who am I kidding? I'd do him in a heartbeat as long as I pick the music. Next year MTV should include other categories like fuck the chorography I play an instrument, "rock bands" that aren't Fall Out Boy, I don't need a producer I make my own music, and I wear a long skirt when I perform.

I know the end is near when Chris Brown gets a standing ovation for his Broadway performance. I didn't realize I was watching the Tony's with all the lip syncing and dancing. Wait I take that back Broadway performers actually sing. Sorry, Broadway performers I didn't mean to disrespect your craft by inferring that you and Chris Brown were in the same category. I have to give props to Alicia Keyes for covering "Freedom". George Michaels kicks ass. I always loved that video especially the part where Cindy Crawford is in the bathtub. Linkin Park quit lifting the Edge's guitar parts. It was kinda cool when Coldplay used it on their Fix You song but there should be a time limit between lifting guitar parts. Oh my God I just admitted that I liked Coldplay there goes my indie cred. All kidding aside I can't speak ill of groups and individuals that play musical instruments. So thank you to all those people that played music on this show even you Fall Out Boy begrudgingly.

Till Next Time

L

I Want To Be Like My Favorite Celebrity

2007-09-10T10:13:00.000-07:00

I'll wear a device on my ankle
I'll wear it like a badge of honor
Excuse me
I need another hit
Stash my coke in my back pocket
Take a joyride in a stolen car
Chase the mother of my assistant
Blame it all on the black kid
And only get one day in the pen

I Want To Be Like My Favorite Celebrity
Na Na Na Na Na Na
I'm a celebrity
The rules don't apply to me

I'll make millions off the pop craze
Marry a dancing cracker
Pop out two kids
Drop them on their heads
Gain a little a weight
Shave my head
Show my pussy
Can't get enough of this fame

I Want To Be Like My Favorite Celebrity
Na Na Na Na Na Na
Everyone look at me
I'm a celebrity
I'm going a little crazy

I'll rule the box office with my witty charm
I'll fall in with the bad crowd
At the age of thirty eight
Shoot heroin into my veins
Slit my wrists for good times sake
Who needs pretty blondes
When self-pity is the ruler of my domain

I Want To Be Like My Favorite Celebrity
Na Na Na Na Na Na
This will be the best section in my biography
Baby I'm a celebrity

If My Ipod Could Talk

2007-09-10T10:09:00.000-07:00

A couple nights ago my girlfriend and I were in bed talking crap like we always do when she started scrolling through my Ipod and started psycho analyzing me. According to her, you could understand the inner workings of a person by the songs they have in their Ipod. I told her she was full of shit and she was making this shit up to get a rise out of me. But she just kept on and on. I finally gave in and listened to her little hypothesis. Didn't want to piss off the girlfriend. She went through all my songs and her conclusion was that I'm a happy girl that loves depressing music. She based her conclusion on the fact that I have lots of Cure, Smiths and Depeche Mode songs in my Ipod. So according to my girlfriend if you have these artists in your Ipod then you like depressing music. I love her but she's full of shit. Good thing she doesn't read my crazy rantings. Anyway, this got me thinking why not make a list of some of the songs in my Ipod. Then you can tell me if my girlfriend was spot on or missed by a mile with her conclusion. Lists are always good for getting indexed in Google.

Most Played Song
Peter Murphy- I'll Fall With Your Knife

Most Depressing Song
The Smiths- I Know It's Over

Best Motown Song
Temptations- Ain't Too Proud To Beg

Best Country Song
Johnny Cash- Folsom Prison Blues

Best Spanish Song
Wilfredo Vargas- Hombre Divertido

Best Rap Song
LL Cool J- Rock the Bells

Best Booty Song
Uncle Al- Hoes In This House

Most Romantic Song
The Cure- Just Like Heaven

Song That Makes Me Happy
The Police- Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic

Most Embarrassing Song
Too many to choose from but if I had to choose it would be Lime- Babe We're Gonna Love Tonight.

Best Guitar Solo
Metallica- One

Most Soothing Song
Pink Floyd- Comfortably Numb

Funniest Song
Dead Milkmen- I Dream of Jesus

Thank You Baby For The Blog Entry

L

Why the Right is Wrong

2007-08-13T21:56:00.000-07:00

This little entry is not a working thesis on the failures of the conservative movement. It's just an entry that will hate on the hypocrites that preside within the Republican Party. Where do I begin with so many misguided conniving deceitful individuals? I'll begin with the College Republicans. These youngsters are the future of the Party and they're making them proud. They believe in fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them over here, but the vast majority of these brave kids will never step foot on the battlefield. They're just a bunch of chickenhawks. And they're a bunch of closeted homos that act tough but I'll get to that later. Maybe I'm being too hard on these kids since most of them have lived sheltered lives. It's kind of easy being a College Republican when Mommy and Daddy pay your way through college or when you have a comfy position waiting for you after graduation at your Daddy's law firm. These bastards make me sick.

The other type of Republican that I cannot stand is the Hialeah Republican. Before I start hating on these people I need to provide some background on these individuals. Hialeah is a poor working class city. It's where the chicos stay at and it's the most Republican district in Florida. I grew up in this city and have always been frustrated by the fact that it's it always votes Republican. The vast majority of the people who vote are the old Cuban guard. These people are the most hardcore righties out there. They still blame the Democrats for the Bay of Pigs and Elian that is why they align themselves with the Repugs. The thing that bothers me the most about these people is that the majority use social programs such as Medicare, live in subsidized housing and a large majority speak Spanish not a word of English. They still vote against their best interest because they are far more interested in the past than on the present. They don't realize that their Party doesn't believe in social programs and that they would like to make English the official language of the U.S. That would mean that all these Hialeah Republicans would either be in a hospital bed, dead, or living under a bridge. And if they weren't affected by any of the above they wouldn't be able to communicate because they only speak Spanish.

The Republican Party has vilified the gay community and advocated family values but the shit has hit the fan my friends. Which one of the newly discovered perverse acts should I begin with I think I'll begin with Mr. Glen Murphy. Mr. Murphy was the Chair of the Young Republican National Federation but now he is under investigation for criminal deviate conduct. You see Mr. Murphy likes to perform oral sex on male friends while they're asleep without their consent. How about Florida State Rep. Bob Allen who was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover male police officer. But Mr. Allen had a reasonable explanation for his actions he didn't want to become a statistic. So under Mr. Allen's rational the only way to escape a potential threatening situation is to perform oral sex on the potential attacker. How about heterosexual indiscretions well the Repugs have those too. Senator David Vitter seems to like to knock the boots with hookers. Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich was having an affair while seeking to impeach President Bill Clinton for the MonicaGate fiasco. Mayor Rudy Giuliani left his wife for his mistress. I could keep going but I think quit now. There is a Cuban or Costa Rican saying I don't remember where it came from that happens when you're a mutt you confuse sayings from each nationality anyway it says don't spit up because it will land on you. But the Repugs just kept spitting up and now the spit is coming down on these hypocrites. Karma is a bitch.

Till Next Time

L

Let Us Talk Politics

2007-08-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

The first ever Youtube debate was a mix bag. Some of the questions expressed the growing frustration with the Iraq War and health care but others where plain dumb like the who was your favorite teacher question. Or the great question of do you send your kids to private or public school. Come on, the U.S. is going down the shitter and CNN puts these questions up for debate. I didn't hear anything about Wal Mart and it's role in the destruction of the United States. I didn't hear anything about China owning most of the U.S. debt. I didn't hear anything about the U.S. being an import economy and how are we going to change that. I didn't hear anything about the growing divide between rich and poor. I didn't hear anything about the increasing cost of college tuition.

As for the winner, it saddens me to say that Hillary Clinton came out the winner in this debate. She was much more polished than Barack Obama. She seemed the most presidential. She told the audience what they wanted to hear on Health Care, Education, Global Warming and Taxes. But it all seemed so phony to me. Actually all of the candidates seemed phony except for Barrack Obama. As for my take I don't want another Clinton. I'm so sick of the Bush Clinton Bush Clinton succession. Give me a person that hasn't been corrupted by Washington or by party loyalties. Give me someone that will think for him or her self and will leave ideologies at the door. I want someone who will give universal health coverage to all U.S. citizens because no one chooses to get sick. I want someone that will put all their effort in finding and funding alternative fuels. I want someone that will help rebuild Afghanistan. I want someone who will fight wars out of necessity and not on the basis of delusional ideology. I want someone who is truthful.

As for Mr. Barack Obama he really screwed up on the question regarding rogue leaders and whether he would speak to them. This rookie mistake will come back and bite him in the ass in this day in age of terrorism and rogue States. His answer was too pie in the sky let's hold hands and sing kumbaya. Leaders of States regardless of ideology will always look out for their best interest and will never cease hostile actions if it's viewed as a way to spread or maintain their power. Come on, Barack its international politics 101. If you want to have dialogue with rogue States they will have to make concessions. Once concessions have been made then there could be dialogue between the leaders of those States.

I like Obama but he keeps committing mistakes that will haunt him. If he does win the Democratic nomination the ruthless Republican machine will slaughter him. They will bring up the whole sex education for kindergarteners and the fact that he wants to have dialogue with Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro, Bashar Assad, Kim Jung Il, and the Ayatollahs of Iran. And the fact that he is black will be used against him especially in the South just ask Harold Ford.

It's unfortunate but the Democratic Party will choose Hillary Clinton as their Presidential candidate because she has a better chance of winning the election than Barack Obama even though she has an unfavorable rating of 40%. Maybe Obama can be Vice President. I say it's going to be close but the Dems will win the election because the nation is tired of Republican scum. If not I'm moving to Canada err it's too cold there. Maybe I'll move to Costa Rica. Nah I think I'll stay in the U.S. It's a great source for writing material.

Vote 2008

L

I Don’t Get

2007-07-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

I don’t get the phenomenon called called Paris Hilton. Here is this skinny cock eyed white chick that acts like she’s the shit. The only reason she’s famous is because her great grandfather owned a bunch of hotel chains. She’s as dumb as a box of rocks. All that time in jail and she couldn’t remember a passage from the bible. What a fucking retard! She’s a disgrace to the human race.

I don’t get Paris Hilton fans. They annoy the hell out of me. Her fans must have really low self-esteem. Who in their right mind would worship a selfish juvenile bitch?

I don’t get butch chicks. Why would anyone want to bang a chick that dresses like a man? If I wanted a man I would go get the real thing.

I don’t get why men hit on me while I’m driving. I’m just trying to get home. I don’t want to find my soul mate in traffic.

I don’t get why people speak so loud on their cell phones. I don’t want to hear your conversation. I don’t care about your hair appointment. I don’t care if your party starts at nine or who’s going.

I don’t get why Hollywood is making live action movies out of eighties cartoons. This summer Transformers and in the winter a Chipmunk movie. Are they running out of ideas in La La land? What’s next GI Joe versus Al Qaeda?

I don’t get mayo. It’s totally disgusting. I will never eat a sandwich with mayo on it.

I don’t get Republicans. What do they stand for? I thought they cared about the soldiers. Yet they keep sending young kids off to die. They also believe in small government. Yet the national debt is at 5.7 trillion dollars.

I don’t get Democrats. They let President Bush drag us into a sectarian bloodbath, which has cost the nation 500 billion dollars and has maimed and killed hundreds of thousands of people. They where the majority in Congress and the Senate for forty years and couldn’t get a universal health care bill passed.

I don’t get closeted lesbian soccer players. Rather play straight than accept who they are.

I don’t get love. I think it’s overrated. Just kidding!

I Heart Depeche Mode

2007-07-05T17:16:00.000-07:00

What a better way to spend a rainy Fourth of July than writing about my infatuation with Depeche Mode. The first time I heard DM was on the 101 cd. I then saw the movie and became intrigued by this weird band and their kooky fans. At the time I was going through my Hip Hop stage and couldn’t conceive that there was other types of music. But Depeche Mode was the first band that spoke to me. I was hooked. I could relate to the central themes of alienation, sex, death, religious doubt, and lack of reciprocal love. They’ve had their share of missteps Exciter being one, but they get a free pass because they’ve had so many great albums that they’re entitled to have a couple of crappy albums.

The first and only time I saw Depeche Mode live was in 1998. It was during their Singles album. They played at the Miami Area and Stabbing Westward opened for them. We had really bad seats cuz I tend to procrastinate even for my favorite band and waited at the last minute to purchase the tickets. At the concert my brother suggested we sneak closer to the stage. We managed to find two empty seats next to the stage. Keep in mind there where more than two people in the group. Everything was going great until the owner of the sits showed up. He was obviously pissed off. He said some choice words and there was nearly a scrap. I know how absurd is it that we almost got in a fight at a Depeche Mode concert, but cooler heads prevailed. We found one empty sit on the other row and prepared ourselves for DM. We where squeezed in there but we didn’t care cuz Depeche Mode tore it up. Martin Gore wore a shiny dress and did a beautiful rendition of “Somebody”. David Gahan danced and sang his heart out. A gay guy offered to put me up on his shoulders. I politely declined. The prerequisite marijuana smoke filled the air. And I danced like I never danced before.

I was going to see them for their Playing the Angel tour but Hurricane Wilma caused the cancellation of the concert. Damn you, Wilma! Ticketmaster offered a refund or tickets to the Tampa show. I couldn’t go to Tampa concert because I had a very important class that I had to attend. Cause you know your education is far more important than a concert. I had another opportunity to see them at Coachella, but finals got in the way and I was dead broke. Although I was told their set wasn’t all that great. The best part of being a Depeche Mode fan is that they tour often so that gives the fans countless opportunities to see them live.

The first song that drew me into the Depeche Mode fandom was Strangelove. I love the line Will you take the pain/I give to you/ Again & Again/ And will you return it/. The album that I absolutely love is Some Great Reward. The best tracks on the album are “Stories of Old”, “Master and Servant”, “Somebody”, “It Doesn’t Matter”, “Lie to Me” and “Blasphemous Rumours”. Master and Servant is the best dance song ever. Stories of Old is another great dance song. It Doesn’t Matter is happy and sad at the same time. Lie to Me has the best lyrics, Lie to Me/ Like they do it in the factory/ Make me think/ That at the end of day/ Some great reward/ Will come my way. Blasphemous Rumours should be the anthem for angst ridden teens. Somebody is the sweetest DM song with a wink and nod that it’s kinda of sick that love can cause you to become a total softy.

Doom and Gloom

L

Sad State of Popular Music

2007-07-04T11:43:00.000-07:00

Oh where oh where have all the great musical artists gone. Oh where oh where could they be. Let me first start off by saying I was a child of the nineties. Like all generations we had our share of crappy songs that were popular cough Rump Shaker cough. But it was off set by the grittiness of New York hip-hop and the "real life tales" of gangsta rap in California. For every Sponge there was a Pearl Jam. For every Mariah Carey there was a Sarah McLachlan. There was a balance that kept shitty artists in check. I don't see the balance anymore. It has shifted to one side and there is nothing that will put it back in its place.

In the late nineties all the bands that changed the musical landscape where trashed and replaced with the Mickey Mouse Club alums. It was these people in my age range that destroyed a good thing. Instead of singing about the tortures of life these happy attractive faces sang about their cute girlfriends/boyfriends. We've been in this shit cycle for the past nine years. The people perpetuating this shittiness are Timbaland, Pharrell, and Scott Storch just to name a few. These men are the brains behind the madness. If it weren't for these people you wouldn't have Nelly Furtado, Justin Timberlake, Gwen Stefani or any other talent less scum topping the charts. Don't even get me started on the downward spiral of Gwen Stefani. Talk about selling your soul for the filthy dollar. Anyway, these "artists" would be lost little sheep without these fucking assholes that make millions playing with Pro Tools. Ten years from now no one will remember the songs they produced or who sang on those tracks. Tin Pan Alley reigns supreme once again. At least the people on Tin Pan Alley played an instrument unlike these guys that use computer programs to make their "club bangers".

As part of my research I went to the Billboard website to check out the top singles chart. Man if that's what people deem popular then I must be the geeky kid sitting in the corner alone. According to Billboard, Rihanna has the number single with her song Umbrella. At first I was taken aback by the title. Is she now the spokesperson for umbrellas? So I headed over to Youtube to check out the song. I must admit it's catchy. But Ms. Rihanna or her writing team use the most elementary rhyming schemes imaginable and the lyrics are atrocious. Come on girl, together forever heart apart cars stars friend end. Couldn't she at least made the storytelling a little more interesting and left out the Ella Ella eh eh. She sounds like a skipping vinyl record. And this is the number one single in the good ole USA. Are people even listening to the lyrics or are they enamored by the beats. What about Ms. Fergie Ferg not only does she steal the white girl that is down but still can sing a soft ballad from Gwen Stefani, she still manages to top the singles chart. I won't go into her musical talents because it's late and I'm tired, but she's just another female artist that hit it big because of her producer. Thank you Canada for Avril we really needed another talent less female artist that steals music from other artists. Her new song "Girlfriend" is an exact copy of "Hey Mickey" from Toni Basil. I thought it couldn't get any worse than "Umbrella" "Girlfriend" "Big Girls Don't Cry" then comes "Lipgloss". I know Lil Mama is just starting, but she should quit her career as a "rapper" and go back to school. She'll do society a favor by doing so.

The women aren't the only ones stinking up the charts the men are close behind. The number two spot on the singles chart belongs to the Shop Boyz with "Party Like A Rock Star". Disposable crap oops rap song with a guitar riff. Wow the south has destroyed the integrity of Hip Hop. Southern rappers are the equivalent to eighties hair bands. They all sound the same and use the same gimmicks. At number four is T-Pain with "Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin). Can someone please give this man a grammar lesson? Mr. T – Pain is another R&B crooner, swooning about his bank account. Nothing special will come from this fellow. He will be lucky if he is still has a record deal next year. Coming in at number five is "Hey Delilah" from the Plain White T's. The song is simple and effective. It captures the yearning for that special someone. Unfortunately this band has one hit wonder written all over it. The last two artists on the chart have been mainstays for quite awhile. Maroon 5 are the new Matchbox 20. People like them because they're safe. They don't rock the boat. It seems like they never evolve. And Justin Timberlake is a better actor than "musician". His song "Summer Love" is your typical Timbaland production. The song is heavy on the bass, drums, claps, gibberish on rides and chicks. Wake me up when Justin Timberlake makes a polka album. Till then I'm not interested in listening to any of his songs.

I'm Not An Elitist I Like My Chemical Romance

L

Observations From a Myspace Stalker

2007-07-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

Three months into my Myspace experiment and all I have to show is three friends and 176 profile views. Come to think of it, I'm shocked I have that many profile views considering I only have one picture and it's a headless photo of me. I think the Myspace counter is inflating the numbers that's the only reasonable explanation for such a count. As for my friends I only have two of them since Tom isn't really my friend. He's always harassing me and threatening to cancel my account. Even though he threatens me I can't delete Tom from my life. I think I might have battered wife syndrome. The one friend I have I never write to her sorry La Gran Loubowsky. To tell you the truth I don't know how to leave a message on someone's page. Yesterday was the first time I learned how to become friends with my fellow Myspacers. I know I'm a loser.

What I really hate are the private accounts and blogs what's the point of having an account if you're going to keep it hidden. Let's say you come across an old friend and you want to see what they've been up to you can't because their account is private. Or you want to find out whom your ex is screwing you can't because their account is private. I also hate the pimped out sites. Those fuckers slow computers to a crawl. One word of advice for those pimped out sites keep it simple/stupid. The Myspace community will greatly appreciate it. What's up with all the lesbian call girls? I'm supposed to believe lesbians are really that hot? Another thing I noticed is since becoming friends with Depeche Mode I've gotten friend requests from fake ass bitches. These bitches shouldn't even be on this site. I get it, you want me to add you as a friend so you can hawk your stupid website or tell me I can get a cool ring tone at suchandsuch.com. Well home girl I'm not interested in your bullshit go somewhere else.

The thing I find fascinating on this site is the quote section in a person's profile. If you want to gain a better understanding of the human physique then look no further than the quotes. Here are some interesting statements I came across during my stalking. I found this little gem a while back "Whoah, babe... Who lit the fuse on YOUR tampon". Can you say dickhead? How about this one "Love found me and I will never let her go". Can you say possessive boyfriend? What about "The notion of true love is nothing more than a gimmick Hollywood pushes in order to sell more tickets". Can you say I'm never going to fall in love? And finally "Don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows" Can you say wannabe activist? But the most widely quoted person on Myspace is Oscar Wilde. It's his skewed view of life that is appealing to so many. Now ladies and gentlemen boys and girls start wearing purple.

L

Save Me Jesus. My Faith Has Been Stolen by the Righteous.

2007-07-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

As long as I can remember I've had doubts about religion. When I was younger I did all the typical Catholic rituals. I attended mass on Sundays; I did my communion, and even confessed my "cardinal sins". I did it not out belief but out of tradition and fear. I feared that if I didn't do these things I'd end up hell. It all changed when my mother became ill and was placed on a life support machine. I had an epiphany that would change how I viewed faith, religion, and God. I asked the priest of the church if he could visit my mother and that it would mean a lot to my family. What I got was a flat out rejection. The priest didn't believe he needed to be by the side of one his parishioners. He stated that the hospital had its own priest and he wasn't going to visit my mother. I was shocked by his response and said fuck it. This is when I started to drift from religion and my faith would temporary fade.

My mistake was that I associated religion with faith. I believed the two were intertwined that one couldn't exist without the other. What I learned is that religion is ruled by the corrupt and faith is ruled from within its God's gift to humanity. Over the years my faith in God grew stronger. No matter the situation God never left my side. When my father pasted away God pulled me through that difficult time. When my nephew was in the Intensive Care Unit, God shined his light and led him out of the ICU. Through all of my experiences I learned that I didn't need guidance from the middleman i.e. priests, pastors, church. I needed to go straight to the source God and ignore the preacher man.

I always get a kick out of the hypocrisy of religion and its leaders. They like to marginalize people and claim a monopoly over morals. These people point fingers at those they view as immoral. They then go off and do worse things like having affairs with male prostitutes, smoking meth, and abusing kids. Fortunately God has a great sense of humor. Every time they're close to imposing their views God smacks them and puts them back in their place. Case and point when the evangelicals made major strides with their family value nonsense in 2004. Luckily, the masses caught on to these charlatans and rebutted their growing influence.

Lastly, I don't hate religions I just don't like institutions that claim moral superiority over the population because at the end of the day man created these institutions. And the very nature of man is self interested and corrupt.

Later

L

Coachella Pics 2

2007-05-01T14:34:00.000-07:00

Coachella Pics 1

2007-05-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

Coachella Recap

2007-05-01T14:00:00.000-07:00

Just got back into town on a red eye. My body is aching, my lips are dry, and I’m feeling good. What a blast the past couple days have been. Did some concert going, rock climbing and hiking. Before heading to the concert we went to Joshua Tree, which is about half hour away from Indio. We only saw a some portion of the park we were short on time, but it was an action packed two hours. We did some rock climbing and some hiking. I must admit the rock climbing was a bit intimidating. The only rock climbing I ever did was indoors with ropes and harnesses. This go around it was only my hands and my hiking boots it was a rewarding experience. I will definitely return to Joshua Tree and try more challenging climbs.

After Joshua Tree we headed to Coachella. Man was it hot. When we parked the temperature was 102 degrees. Forty-five minutes later we made it into the polo grounds and became one with the mass of people. We stockpiled on water before heading to the stages. You wouldn’t last an hour in the desert heat without drinking plenty of water. While in the line Brother Ali was playing on the main stage, I was impressed with his flow and he was very entertaining. Shortly after his set ended Satellite Party took the stage. You might be asking yourself who the hell is Satellite Party I know a lot of people on the polo grounds were asking the very same question. Well the lead singer of Satellite Party is the one and only Perry Farrell of Jane’s Addiction fame with the guy of Extreme playing lead guitar. What an odd mix of musical genres but it works. Perry Ferrell is definitely a nut job but that’s what I love about him and his music. The best part of the set was when they covered Stop, which was the crowd favorite.

We then headed to the outdoor theatre to check out who was playing before the Silversun Pickups took the stage. On stage was Of Montreal. I wasn’t impressed with their sound. Their music didn’t appeal to me and after two songs we headed to the main stage for the Silversun Pickups. This time around we positioned ourselves on the right side of the stage. The best way to enjoy the concert experience at Coachella is to get to the sides of the stage that’s where you’ll get close to the bands. The Silversun Pickups remind me of the Smashing Pumpkins during their Siamese Dreams days. Their set was middle of the road I was expecting more from this group and I didn’t get it. Mid way through their set we left and took in the sights and sounds of Coachella. We then went to the Gobi stage where Amy Winehouse was going to start her set. It was packed. I didn’t know she had such a strong following. Unfortunately we didn’t get to see her because she was late and we wanted to get a good spot for the Arctic Monkeys.

The Arctic Monkeys killed it. They sound better in concert than in their cds. My favorites of the set were "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor", "The View From the Afternoon" and "When the Sun Goes Down". After they ended their set Jesus and Mary Chain took the stage and blew all the other acts off the stage. Man those guys can rock even at their age. The highlights were “Never Understand”, “Sidewalking” and “Head On” which is one of my all time favorite songs. What I didn’t like was that they brought out Scarlett Johansson to sing backup vocals for “Just Like Honey”. The girl can’t sing she should stick to acting. I was really hoping for Hope Sandoval to appear and sing “Sometimes Always”.

At this point we where tired from all the walking and standing that we decided for the Jarvis Cocker set we would sit and enjoy the music from afar. Jarvis Cocker is one funny fella at one point stating he would be taking his top off and joining the trance dome. Highlights were "Don't Let Him Waste Your Time" and “Running the World”. After his set ended came the scheduling conflicts. On the main stage there was Interpol, on the outdoor theatre there was Sonic Youth and on the Sahara tent was Faithless. I wanted to see Interpol and Faithless but that wasn’t going to happen since the two acts were far apart. It was between Interpol and Sonic Youth. We decided on Sonic Youth because my brother really wanted to see them play. Luckily, they were delayed and I managed to see some of Interpol on the big screens. I’m not a fan of Sonic Youth they’re a band you either get or don’t get. I fall in the don’t get side. Sorry Sonic Youth fans their set was a dud. The mix sounded horrible. I don’t know if it was intentional but it sucked.

After three fourths of the Sonic Youth set we left and headed back to the main stage to get a spot for Bjork. Since Bjork was the main headliner the field was packed with concertgoers. I didn’t even get a glimpse of Bjork I saw her in the big screens. She opened her set with “Earth Intruders” which totally kicked ass. A couple songs later she sang “All Is Full Of Love”, which was ruined by the two assholes in front of me. They decided to have a conversion during the song and kept obstructing my view. Bloody bastards I hope you rot in the desert heat. During her set the smell of ganja was everywhere. I was getting a secondhand high. Overall her performance had its ups and downs it needed more consistency.

I definitely want to return next year although I won’t do the three days. The heat is too brutal to withstand the whole festival. Hopefully next year Morrissey will get his head out of his ass and reunite the Smiths. If not I look forward to seeing other potential reunions and bands that don’t visit the sunshine state. To conclude my recap Coachella is an experience that all music lovers should experience at least once in their life.

See Ya

L

Top Five People I'd Like to Shag

2007-03-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

5. Valerie Plame

There is nothing sexier than a milf spy.

4. Trent Reznor

Trent has gone from waif to buff. I likes the buff Trent. Yummy

3.Lara Logan

What can I say I have a weakness for war reporters with accents

2.Olivia Wilde

I’m not digging the brown hair but she’s still a hottie.

1. Jack Johnson

He surfs, sings and plays guitar. Jack Johnson is the perfect package.

Scatterbrain 101

2007-03-12T12:55:00.000-07:00

Where do I begin sometimes I forget to comment on events that have occurred because I’m forgetful and this is where I vent Scatterbrain 101.

A couple days ago I saw Zodiac and was disappointed with the direction of the film. I was expecting an intriguing crime drama about the Zodiac. What I got was lots of footage from the newsroom and the police department. The murders occur at the very beginning of the film and cease thereafter. The film is excruciating long it clocks at three hours. Although we all know the killer was never caught the ending of the film was extremely disappointing. I won’t ruin it but lets just say you’ll be reading for a good three minutes at the end of film. I suggest you check out the A&E special on the Zodiac and save yourself the $7.50.

I must admit I’m a huge sports fan. I’m a total homer when it comes to South Florida teams. I’m stoked the Miami Heat have gotten it together and are starting to play like champions. Too bad it came after D-Wade fucked up his shoulder. Shaq has finally gotten his shit together and is playing like his early years. Although the East is a weak conference we might have issues with Detroit when we face them in the playoffs. Hopefully D-Wade can comeback and lead the team to another championship.

Just today I was watching some television, that’s what you get when you wait for a job offer, and came across some horrendous rap. The “artist” on the screen was the Game otherwise known as the Name Dropper. Goodness gracious in all of his songs he drops names. As a result I’ve started a drinking game called Name Dropper. For every famous name the Game drops you have to take a shot. After one song I had taken eight shots and felt rather ill. I’m not knocking the Game I’m knocking all of hip-hop. I miss good ol days of hip hop when the Wu where the shit, when a Biggie song would pack the dance floor, when 2pac rapped about Brenda’s Baby, when rap wasn’t a parody of itself.

Big Poppa

See Ya

L